amul: few days blog

 

July 29^th, 2006

 

            So it’s been a month…every now and then, when im waiting for Prasadam or walking to Vihe on my own, I think of home.  I remember things like blacktop roads, cars with 4 wheels as opposed to three, walking on carpets, and wearing pants.  I also remember people whose friendship I take for granted and I make a mental note to really appreciate them when I get back home.  5 more months! haha…

            Yesterday was Haryali Theej, a festival when the whole KB temple is decorated in greenery.  The deities’ altar was completely covered in green leaves, it was very beautiful.  Also, the temple was very crowded for Sandhya arati.  Another festival that happens on this day is Banke Bihari Jhulan.  Darsan is so crowded in the daytime, that most iskcon devotees go at night, when its not as crowed, but still push-and-shove crowded.  So, me, Chai, Damodar, Bhaja Gauranga, Madhura madhava, Visala, and Dhanurdhar----all my Vihe classmates, saddled up and went to see Banke Bihari ji around 10 pm.  I had gone during my last visit to Vrindavan, 4 years ago, so I was excited to see the Jhulan yatra again.  WOW, it was definitely an amazing darsan once again.  There was a HUGE silver jhulan, and 4 solid silver life sized Sakhi’s.  Banke Bihari was closer to his devotees than usual so you could see the deity so well.

            Vihe update:  we finished Isopanisad!! Yesss! We have an exam tomorrow, so can’t wait to finish it for good.  I like the book but it was kind of complicated for me.  I like Bhagavad Gita a lot better.  My teacher is one of the most amazing devotees I have ever met, I gave a short description in one of my previous blogs so you can refer if you haven’t “met” him yet.

            Man, can you believe that nothing else is going on?  Yea, so I just wanted to write a little blurb to let all my readers that im still alive and to still check the blog once and a while.  Alright keep it real, Haribol…                  

 

July 31st, 2006           

            The exam went okay.  It was pretty hard though.  15 questions, all short essay answer, took about 2 hours, we had 3.  It was fun talking about it afterward because I remember in school when we would talk about tests afterward, and now I was doing it in Vrindavan with devotees!  I think I did decent. 

            I have been doing 16 rounds straight for about 2-3 weeks now.  I was doing it for the first week but then I stopped for 2 or 3 days, I don’t know why, spaced out!  I really like the way my spiritual life is going.  By chanting I am feeling responsible and pure.  By studying sastra, doubts I had are slowly being erased. A little history, if i may ;).......

 After my years of huge glasses and huge neck beads (as VBd puts it), I started questioning my Krishna Conscious upbringing.  I envied all the devotees that got into it because they “joined” or they got a book from a devotee distributing.  I wondered why I could not have the faith that they did from actually going darkness to light.  It is still a slight anartha of mine, that i am in denial.  Hopefully by constant studying/sadhana this can be pacified.  I've talked to many devotees who think i am crazy to think this because of how bad their upbringing was.  As the saying goes, "the grass is greener on the other side"  I gotta be happy with what i have. Kind of relates to The 'Isavasya' principle! <to all my Bhakti Sastri alumni...haha

 

August 2nd, 2006

    Today was our first day of "Nectar of Instruction".  I really like this book.  HG Kurma Rupa prabhu is our instructor.  His teaching style is really chill but you can tell he knows his stuff really well.   The topic was about Text 1, controlling the Six Urges.  He started a discussion that was aimed at seeing who is a qualified guru or who is advanced.  He said in our movement there are so many misconceptions about whos a good guru or who is an advanced devotee.  When he opened it up to discussion, i remembered a phrase VBD uses alot, and i said "in our movement, whoever gets the ghee lamp first is an advanced devotee, thats a misconception".  My classmates thought that was pretty clever! thanks VBD! hahaha.  So the point was that an advanced devotee or qualified guru is someone that can control these Six urges.  They are eligible to make disciples.  This was a great verse for me personally because i always come across people who think just because someone is a Prabhupada disciple, or someone is smart in sastra, is automatically, without looking at this person's life, is an advanced vaisnava.  Don't get me wrong, i know many advanced devotees who are Prabhupada disciples, or who can quote sanskrit like its written on their hand, but that is not the qualifications Rupa Goswami gives in the first text.  Now i can quote "Upadesamrita" to make a point. 

 

In other unrelated, useless news, i got on AIM for the first time!  It was around 7:30pm india time, and i chatted with Namai, Radhey, Gopal, Pragnesh, Pradyumna, and a few others.  It was really awesome to err..read......their voices again. HAHA.  Lots of people are coming here for Janmastami and Kartik, can't wait till you guys come! 

 

Also we are now using our laptops to download our mail, so we can reply/read emails in our room, we dont have to be connected to the internet.  So i encourage long emails, ill write back real long too!

 

OH yea i almost forgot, you probably all know, My dear dear friend Damodar who accompanied me here to India, is leaving.  He's packing his stuff right now as i type this.  I'm really sad to see him go but i am not letting it get me down at a time like this. He will feel my wrath when i get back to America in December.  MUhhuahhahaha... later mata-g's and pravu-g's.

 

August 3rd, 2006

    So Damodar left.  A piece is definitely missing from me.  I came back from class today and bought some mahaprasad.  And I ate it sitting on the floor of our new room, alone.  Thats when it really hit me that he was gone.  I dont know what im gonna do.  When he was here i felt safe.  I think i was too dependent on him, now i will have to suffer for that.  I was treating it like it was not going to affect me, as you can read from the last entry.  boy was i dead wrong. Dont feel like writing more. haribol.